However, extreme commitment paradoxically ruins the partnership because the individual identities be destroyed” (Baxter Montgomery, 2009, p
Immediately following reviewing this new books the origin are applied to understand more about how the idea from relational dialectics in addition to relevant axioms out-of antagonistic battles and you will fatal attractions apply to Tom and you can Summer’s latest real-to-existence breakup. The following study examines just how around three interior dialectics, antagonistic battles and thought of fatal appeal connect with Tom and you can Summer’s dating. To begin with, a close look at dating ranging from Tom and you will Summer regarding (500) Times of Summer was drawn whenever you are using the contact lens of RDT, making it possible for one view the key elements out-of a great miscommunication and you may instability off relational dialectics within this Tom and you may Summer’s relationship. But not, the film mostly shows the relationship because of Tom’s position. Consequently, at the beginning of the film Summer seems to be an excellent style of villain otherwise antagonist getting separating that have Tom. After Tom may be able to read it, he is able to totally go on with their life and you will know that often there is a later date and another individual satisfy and you may fall in love with.
Because of the examining Tom and you will Summer’s relationships you can get a hold of samples of how the internal dialectics of about three relational languages connect with their relationship. These types of internal dialectics were connectedness-breakup, certainty-uncertainty and you will transparency-closedness. As mentioned earlier, internal dialectics might be looked moreso compared to additional because the it incorporate a lot more in order to Tom and you will Summer’s relationships due to the undeniable fact that the film is focused primarily in it and not the connections toward people around them and you will area for that matter. Overall, a first disease that can easily be observed in Tom and you may Summer’s relationship is their failure to help you balance connectedness-break up. Tom and you may Summer’s trouble with controlling connectedness-break up keeps much regarding the fact, centered on Baxter Montgomery, “zero relationships can also be exists from the meaning until the fresh new people give up specific private independency. 157). From the film, once Tom attempts to define his reference to June and place a label inside it everything about its relationship begins to advance far more with the disintegration of your own matchmaking. This means, whenever Tom attempts to rating nearer to Summer, due to the fact he could be believing that he could be in love with her, the guy tends to make the lady concern when the the woman is most in love with your. Summer up coming actually starts to care that if some thing will not happens adjust its matchmaking, the woman is just going to be miserable and you may end up hurting Tom. While it is apparent that connectedness-separation dilemmas would exist contained in this Tom and Summer’s relationship, there is not far becoming said about their individual individual autonomy–otherwise known as private freedom–while they’re along with her, because these the movie centers more about Tom’s perspective and his excursion for the healing about misery. Their excursion, but not, does show the latest lso are-establishment from their independence, when he actually starts to real time once more without having to worry regarding the Summer. It is primarily the advancement reveals how beneficial it had been having your to stay a relationship having June.
Due to the fact matchmaking ends up it is likely that one individual often feel held accountable regarding almost every other person’s mind and get branded just like the an effective villain
The difficulties of connectedness-breakup isn’t unusual. As mentioned 
a lot more than, Tom and you can Summer’s relationship trouble connect to Sahlstein and you may Dun’s (2008) study you to centers around independence and you can connection to ascertain as to why break-ups take place in dating. The outcomes performed show that lovers branded connectedness and you can independence just like the a factor in outlining why they separated. In addition, it explored the antagonistic sorts of paradox, where each person is actually lined up having another rod of contradiction (Sahlstein Dun, 2008). However, seeing that this new antagonism is coming from both sides of your matchmaking, someone can not be kept totally guilty of the fresh new dissolution out of the connection. Instead, it is on account of both sides insufficient correspondence and you may failure so you can balance the relational dialectic stress that brought about some slack right up.