Clear correspondence. We like to not score extremely mentally invested otherwise deeply involved in those who are unable to otherwise would not express certainly, frankly and you can forthrightly regarding their needs, desires, limitations, ideas, intercourse, and sexual wellness. Or which cannot find ways to listen publicly to me once i need promote these items. Once i query important questions, I need obvious responses – and i also will keep asking up until I have one to quality.
Unbarriered penetrative sex (“liquid connecting“) doesn’t considerably increase my physical satisfaction or psychological satisfaction, nor does it denote one thing unique from the my relationship
I don’t would warm or ambivalent. I just stay intimately, romantically, or psychologically looking for couples who become they are attracted in my opinion, take pleasure in myself, and enjoy my personal team sufficient to put forth some effort so you’re able to waste time with me if not apply at me personally. And you may that simply don’t seem to be rather conflicted or ambivalent regarding the its connections to myself. I don’t you need (or wanted) nonstop severe attention; however, an excessive amount of 
ambivalence, diffidence or passivity change me of big-time. And also this pertains to situations where a possible mate cannot have a look so you’re able to voice a viewpoint, create plans, otherwise make a decision in place of usually examining with anybody else first to have consent; ambivalence grounded on too little liberty turns me personally regarding while the much as ambivalence rooted in a lack of attention otherwise effort.
Safer sex. We thoroughly take pleasure in safer sex, having condoms and other processes because the appropriate. I have found my personal relationships is actually easier, secure and less crisis-susceptible whenever I am in keeping with the people in the secure sex. Sharing intimate likes, wants, and you may wellness is an important (and fun!) part of you to definitely processes. Consequently I go for condoms to own vaginal and you will rectal gender (the activities that would depict ideal chance in my experience), and i correspond with couples to check other risks/situations and adjust as needed.
In the infrequent cases I may choose to features unbarriered gender sporadically or on a regular basis that have a specific mate – but only when we’ve been having fun with condoms for a while, and you can I am fulfilled you to definitely their STI condition/evaluation, choices, and profile guarantee which quantity of trust. While having whenever we agree in advance one returning to having fun with condoms would not be regarded as downgrading our emotional closeness otherwise sexual partnership. People who want no condoms so you can be psychologically intimate to me, or even to delight in sex whatsoever, commonly intimately suitable for myself.
Including, when i cannot be I need to surveil otherwise micromanage my personal partners’ (and their partners’) intercourse lifestyle, that will help us all calm down– meaning that enjoys most readily useful intercourse
Look after autonomy. My personal flexibility is key to myself. I usually make an effort to grab partners and you may metamours into consideration, and i am commonly determined by him or her, however, I will not transform me personally entirely to suit him or her. Nor am i going to make it someone else the power so you can accept, constrain otherwise veto my choices, plus people related to my personal dating with others. I won’t instantly embrace anybody else’s issues, preferences, biases, concerns, concerns, otherwise grudges. Nor am i going to give in to help you shame vacation, acting out, control, and other equivalent tension aimed at altering otherwise controlling myself.
Ethics and you may responsibility. I really don’t let someone cheating, and i also never participate in don’t-ask-dont give agreements. In the event that I am relationship somebody who has a first partner (otherwise existing high low-first couples), I might constantly need to show that have those individuals existing lovers you to definitely their matchmaking is so honestly unlock just before some thing get more with it than just a few schedules. (I really like to generally meet my metamours, anyway.) And additionally, I will not rest to an effective metamour to cover someone.