The sex was great and regular but the spontaneous affection shown, or not, by her even then when I think back, was limited but at that point not non-existent as it is now.
I can’t really recall any time when she made any effort or initiated intimacy as it was always left to me. As I say, the sex was great and we had no problems really as time went on other than me wanting a little more and me having to initiate it but I put this down to the way she was. She was shy and happy to let me lead the way.
We had our first child in 2005 and we were intimate throughout pregnancy and again with our youngest child. I was lucky in that respect. The hugs and affection though, were never there from the start but over the years, this has bothered me more and more as time has gone on.
As time went on, the honeymoon period naturally settled down, but sex was never an issue as long as I initiated
My wife never kisses me and only does so when I make the first move. Having a quick kiss and cuddle is always initiated by me and after 10 seconds she is trying to pull away as if she had better things she could be doing. She will say it back though, when I say it to her.
My wife never, ever cuddles me and I can remember only one time ever that she ever cuddled me when it was her idea, back when we were dating, so for that to stick in my mind shows me how sad this situation is
We, or more like I, have had a few talks with her over the years, telling her that I need more love and attention, but she will always roll her eyes and say, “Not this again,” or that she can’t be the person that I want her to be. My wife has even told me to go and find someone else before now. She will also say something like, “Is this about the sex again?”
The void in my life and how I tackle it with her always comes to a head maybe every six months or so. The last time we locked horns was about six months ago when we went through a rough patch for a month or so. It was a huge build up of frustration and we nearly ended up selling the house when she finally decided to talk it out with me, but it just ended up, as usual, with me conceding that she can’t and doesn’t want to change and I have to accept that this is the way she is. I honestly thought she was going to go through with selling up and it terrified me.
What hurts though, is that my wife doesn’t even try or want to get close. She is quite happy for me to give her a foot rub or massage, but will never initiate a kiss or a cuddle, let alone sex. I now know better than to try initiate sex as there will always be some excuse. My wife simply thinks that she 
can’t show affection as I will interpret that as her wanting sex, which is nonsense since she doesn’t show her feelings in any event. If I had experienced her affection and been given the opportunity of learning her boundaries, then I would be more than happy with a cuddle and a kiss.